Another false belief

The following is incorrect:

“If they love me they will never leave me, and if they leave me they never loved me.”

That’s a summary of alot of clients I work with. I’ll explain by getting really personal about my own life.

I was dating a girl once, who up to this day I consider an amazing person and she was a girl any guy would love to be loved by. The problem was, even though I loved her at the time, something was missing. All of the dots did not connect. I knew if I stayed with her, I would not give her the happiness I knew she so rightly deserved. It was because I loved her, I had to leave her. She was devastated. Took 2 years to get over me. She is however now in a very happy relationship. Happier than I coild have ever made her. I seen her and she has a glow around her. This makes me happy. I had to let her go because I cared.

I then went on to date someone else whom I fell madly in love with. Finally I thought “This is it!” She loved me alot. However I was at a stage in my life where I was on a journey of self discovery, having made choices that left me unstable in every area in my life. She wanted to take me home, get married etc. and so she wanted me to get stable and get a 9 to 5 job. I couldn’t. There was something bigger for me to do. To be a part of. She dumped me. This time I was devastated. Did she not love me? Of course she did. But people need to have their highest values fulfilled in order for them to stay with you. Her highest value was marriage. Mine was my life purpose. I met her recently. She openly said, “If I stayed with you, I would have gotten in your way of your success.”
She is right.

Relationship love is misunderstood. What people do and what people say almost never are in sync. It’s never that people don’t love you. They do. They love you more than you know. But sometimes they love you so much, they have to let you go so you can be truly happy. Or sometimes you just aren’t fulfilling their highest values which means YOU haven’t taken the time to love them enough to get to know them intimately inside.

Love,
H